


I Loved, and I Loved, and I Lost Him

by Ninalb



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Acceptance, Alcohol, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Arguing, Bittersweet Ending, Blood and Gore, Blow Jobs, Canon Compliant, Character Death, Drinking to Cope, First Time Bottoming, Fluff and Angst, I hate it when my cat walks all over my keyboard, M/M, Sore legs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 04:32:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17615543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ninalb/pseuds/Ninalb
Summary: Tord loved Tom and Tom loved Tord. So how did they end up like this?A five-shot surrounding the rise and fall of Tom and Tord's relationship.This story is Canon compliant.





	1. Hello Stranger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy the story! Feel free to leave me a comment! I enjoy hearing from you guys.

The bell jingled, signifying the arrival of another customer at the bar. Tom shook his glass of mostly ice, watching it disinterestedly. He heard the chair next to his slide and he mentally groaned. There were a thousand other chairs, why did they have to pick the one next to him? He looked over his shoulder noticing that it was Tord who had taken the seat next to him. He didn't visit the bar often but he definitely made his presence known by always getting into a scuffle. 

"I don't want any trouble tonight," Eduardo warned from behind the bar.

"I hear you loud and clear," Tord grinned, rolling his cigar to the other side of his mouth.

Eduardo rolled his eyes and went to fetch his order. Tom downed the rest of his drink and slid the cup forward. He made to stand up but Tord put an arm on his shoulder.

"Aw, come on, stranger. Leaving so soon?" Tord asked.

"Ya," Tom huffed brushing his hand off his shoulder, "See ya."

"I'll buy you your next drink," Tord offered.

"No thanks," Tom stood up and made his way to Eduardo.

"I'll buy you a drink and pay your tab."

Tom paused for a second. That was a really good offer. He really shouldn't take Tord's offer. The guy was all types of shady. Still, he slid back into his chair.

"Another Smirnoff," Tom said, "So what do you want?"

"Just a friend to talk to," Tord hummed, thanking Eduardo for the drinks.

Tom sighed as Eduardo handed him his drink. He downed almost half of the glass in his first chug. He dropped the cup on the table almost spilling it. Tord had grabbed it to make sure it hadn't tipped over. Tom took a good look at Tord. He noted his devil-like horns of hair perched on top of his head. He also had an unusual color of eyes, not that he could talk. They were a smokey grey, making him seem like he was lost in thought. He also was pretty muscular. And maybe kinda cute? No, it must be the alcohol getting to him. Plus he was straight. Does only fucking girls count as being straight? Ya. Though the strong feeling in his chest was unlike any he had felt with any girl. Tom shook the ideas out of his head and turned back to his drink. Tord was sipping his and Tom did the same.

"So what brings you here?" Tord asked.

"I'm practically here every night. It's my home away from home." Tom hummed, finishing off his drink.

Tord motioned for Eduardo to refill his glass. The warm feeling in his stomach from the alcohol couldn't match the feeling in his chest. He was actually starting to feel super hot. 

"Do you live with anyone?" Tord asked staring into his eyes.

Most people never looked him in the eyes. They were probably unnerved by them. But Tord looked into them like he was searching for his pupil. 

"Ya, I've got two roommates. They can be annoying but I love them," Tom said, "Speaking of which. It's super late. I probably get back before they start to worry about me. Thanks for the drinks."

He needed to get out of here and away from Tord. His feelings were starting to mess with his head and make him feel vulnerable. He needed to go home and sleep off the alcohol and all these dumb thoughts. He fell out of his chair only to be caught by Tord. Now that he was standing, Tom could see how significant their height difference was. Tord helped him stand up. Tom was pretty sure that Tord was the only thing keeping him from being flat on the floor.

"Thanks," Tom slurred leaning into Tord's chest.

He could feel the line of his muscles through his shirt. Tom could wash clothing on the bumps of his six-pack. He had the body that Tom could only wish for.

"I should take you home," Tord offered.

Tord placed a handful of money on the table, definitively enough to cover both their drinks and whatever Tom's tab could be. He drapped Tom's arm over his shoulders.

"This isn't going to work," Tord hummed, noting how he couldn't stand up without Tom barely being able to touch the floor, "Up we go then."

Tord hefted Tom up into his arms.

"H-Hey!," Tom squawked, wrapping his arms around Tord's neck, afraid he was going to be dropped.

"Aww, how cute," Tord teased, walking out of the bar, "Now where to?"

"This isn't going to work," Tom huffed, embarrassed to be seen outside like this.

"It's going to have to. There's no way you can walk. Now, where to?" Tord repeated.

Tom reluctantly gave Tord his address. Because it wasn't too far from the bar, Tord ended up carrying Tom all the way there. When they got to the door, Tom tried to get his keys out of his pockets. He ended up just letting Tord get them since he was having trouble getting his hand into the pocket. He might have drank a little more than he should have. When Tord opened the door, Tom could hear Edd scolding him.

"Where have you been all-" Edd stopped mid-sentence when he saw Tord.

Tom was practically melting in Tord's arms and he sighed.

"Sorry about him," Edd apologized helping Tord put Tom down on the couch.

"It's quite alright. He's adorable," Tord smiled.

Edd decided to get the two some water, especially Tom, before giving them some space.

"Nice place you have," Tord remarked.

"Thanks," Tom leaned into Tord.

He loved the warmth that bloomed in his chest just by sitting next to Tord. He let Tord pull him closer, tucking him under his arm. They sat like that for a bit before Tord started to get up.

"Wait," Tom tugged on his sleeve.

"It's almost 2 am," Tord said, shaking Tom off.

Tom let out a sigh and sank back into the couch.

"How about," Tord offered, "I come back and visit sometime?"

"I'd like that a lot."


	2. Moving In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a sex scene in it. If you don't want to read this and want to continue reading the story, just skip to the next chapter. It's the only one in the book so you don't have to worry about missing out on anything. All that happens is that Tord moves into their house.

Tom was helping Tord move into their flat. They had started dating four months ago. Tord had started coming over so frequently that he practically lived at their house. Tom had talked it over with Edd and Matt and they were more than happy for him to invite him to live with them. It took a little convincing to assure Tord that he was more than welcome in their house when he had finally agreed. 

Right now, they were loading Tord's boxes of stuff into Edd's car. It was a hot summer day and both Edd and Matt had magically vanished with some dumb excuse of how they had something planned today. He loved his roommates but sometimes they so annoying. Tom wiped the sweat from his forehead after he put another box into the trunk. He looked over to see Tord trying to fan himself with a pile of papers. Tom couldn't help but watch as Tord took off his shirt, using it to wipes his face before slinging it over his shoulder. Damn, he was hot. Unfortunately, he wasn't the only one interested in Tord. He felt a growing arousal spark in his body. Tom turned around so that he was facing the car. He tried to situate his pants so that his boner was as evident. He needed to go to the bathroom and try to wait it out. Or maybe jack off if it was really that persistent. He turned around about to head to the bathroom when he bumped into Tord.

"I see that you have a little situation going on," Tord grinned, "Mind if I help you?"

"But your stuff," Tom sputtered.

Tord pulled Tom into the house heading for his bed.

"You okay with this?" Tord asked, pressing a kiss to his temple.

"With you, I'm always okay." Tom smiled.

Tord pulled down his pants thumbing the elastic of his boxers. He ran his other hand up the inside of his thigh, tracing lazy circles over his dick. Tord pulled his boxers down and Tom's legs clamped shut as the cold air attacked his dick. 

"It's kinda small," Tord teased.

"Hey-!" Tom was cut off by a moan as Tord ran his finger all the way up his dick.

He rubbed the tip, spreading around the beads of pre-cum. Tom was already panting, gripping Tord's shoulders.

"So sensitive," Tord commented, giving Tom a few pumps.

"F-Fuck you," Tom groaned as Tord leaned down and started sucking on his dick.

Tom's hands found a comfortable spot in Tord's hair as his hips twitched, wanting to rock forward into Tord's mouth. But Tord kept a grip on his hips that ensured that Tom would have to go with his pace. Tord rolled his tongue around Tom's dick, starting at the bottom and ending at the head. He reveled in how he could make Tom shake, his breathing quick and uneven.

"Damn, Tord," Tom huffed, his body getting stiffer as the heat in his stomach grew. 

Just as he thought he was going to come, Tord stopped, pulling off his dick. Tom tried to finish himself off but Tord pinned his arms down.

"Come on, Tom," Tord growled a predatory glint flashing through those grey eyes, "Don't be selfish. Now I'm hard too."

Tom's eyes widened as he realized that Tord was talking about.

"I've never bottomed before," Tom mumbled, a blush spreading across his cheeks.

"I'll go slow," Tord assured him, "Let me get the lube."

Tom nodded and Tord rummaged through one of the remaining boxes. While he was doing so, Tom shifted uncomfortably. He was getting a terrible case of blue balls as he was sitting here. He tried to satisfy the painful pressure by rubbing his thighs together just to get any friction. Tord returned with a small white bottle. He lathered his hands in it before coming over to Tom.

"Ready?" Tord asked, bending down and sitting in front of Tom.

"Sure?" Tom said, although he really wasn't.

He was quite nervous. He wasn't sure how bad this was going to hurt. Tord rolled him onto his back and opening his legs. Tom stiffened as Tord slowly pushed a finger in. Tord slowly pulled his finger out before pushing it back in. After a couple of thrusts, he added a second. Tom flung his arm over his eyes, half out of embarrassment and half because of the foreign feeling of being scissored. Tom was letting out a low groan as Tord pushed a third digit in.

Tord pulled his finger out, wiping it off on one of his pant legs. He then pulled said pants off as well as his boxers and oh my, Tord was fucking huge. Tom's dick actually looked kinda small compared to Tord's. Not that he would ever tell him that, he would never hear the end of it if he did. Tord was dousing his cock in lube, winking at Tom when he caught him staring. How he could tell Tom was looking, Tom didn't know. Maybe it was the quickly spreading blush that was heating up his whole face. Tord licked his lips walking over to Tom. 

Nervousness and excitement were crashing together in a dizzying display of emotions. Tom swallowed the lump in the throat as Tord pressed him into a gentle but firm kiss. Tom wrapped his arms around Tord's shoulders making sure he couldn't escape. Tord wrapped his arms around Tom's back pulling him closer. But Tom broke the kiss, hissing as Tord was slowly pushing the head of his dick in. He bit his lip nervously, not sure if he could even get it in.

"Hey," Tord cooed and Tom turned back to staring into those smokey grey eyes, "You've got this. I'm right here."

Tom was kissing Tord again as he gave an experimental thrust, both of them moaning quietly as another inch sunk in. 

"Fuck, your super tight," Tord hummed.

"This is my first time," Tom reminded him, "This shit stings."

"It gets better from here," Tord promised.

"It better, ahh!" Tom shouted and Tord rocked his hips forward.

Both pleasure and pain swarmed in his stomach as Tord rolled his hips. Tord started off at a slow pace, lazily rocking in and out. He would have loved to pin Tom down, fucking into him. But he didn't want to push Tom too far, so he watched as his pained expression faded from his face. Tom's eyes drooped to a half-lidded gaze and he started to rock his hips back into each thrust.

"Tord, I fucking love you," Tom breathed as Tord sucked a hickey on his neck.

Tord swung his leg over his shoulder and Tom groaned as he hit his prostrate. 

"There, harder!" Tom panted and Tord fulfilled his request. 

He sped up, jackhammering into Tom. Tom found it hard to keep up with his thrusts and he had to hold onto the headboard of the bed to make sure he wasn't slammed into it. He could feel the full length of Tord at he drove it deeper with each thrust. He wrapped his legs around Tord's waist, groaning as the warmth in his stomach building rapidly. He tried to communicate that he needed a bit more to push him over the edge but he couldn't get the words out through his hitched breathing. Tord seemed to understand though and he reached down and started pumping Tom's dick. Tom moaned as his orgasm hit him like a train. His clentching was enough to push Tord over as well and both their hips shuttered to a stop. They both sat together for a solid minute, trying to catch their breath. 

"Ugh, why didn't you pull out?" Tom groaned, "Now I'm a mess and I already took a shower this morning."

Tom moved to get off the bed.

"Wait-!" Tord reached forward and caught Tom as he fell forwards.

"Owww, my legs," Tom moaned, "Fuck, maybe we went a little too rough for my first time."

Tord laughed standing up before scooping Tom into his arms.

"This reminds me of when we first met," Tord reminisced, dropping Tom into the shower.

Tom hummed thinking back to the day. He shrieked when Tord suddenly turned on the shower, spraying him with cold water.

"Damn it, Tord!" Tom growled.

"You know you love me," Tord grinned.

"Ya, I love you like the pain in my ass." Tom stuck his tongue out at him.


	3. Moving Out

"When were you going to tell me!" Tom shouted, slamming open the door.

"What?" Tord put down the hentai comic he was reading.

"That you were leaving!" Tom's hands curled into fists and he flung one of the pillows that had fallen off Tord's bed at him.

It hit Tord smack in the face and he reeled back.

"I have no clue what you're talking about," Tord protested.

"Don't lie to me!" Tom shouted, wiping his eyes before the tears spilled over, "You're moving out of this house. You've literally almost packed all of your stuff! I saw the suitcases!"

"So you've been snooping around my room?" Tord growled.

"Don't even try to make me look like the bad guy!" Tom snarled, "Do I really mean that little to you that you weren't going to tell me? Was I going to wake up one day and you were going to be gone?"

He couldn't stop the tears from running down his face. They rained on the floor, landing with little splats. Tom just let it all out, sobbing as he covered his face.

"You know that's not true-," Tord started.

"I don't even know what's true," Tom sniffed, "I don't even know why you're leaving."

"I'm going to the city," Tord looked away from Tom, unable to take his heart broken expression, "I'm just not happy here. I need a little change of pace."

"But I'm here," Tom reasoned.

"You know it's not that," Tom mumbled.

"Then what is it!" Tom shouted, "What are you looking for!?"

"I don't know!" Tord yelled back throwing his hentai comic to the ground, "You know, I'd appreciate it if you were more supportive of my decision. If you really cared about me, then you wouldn't make it any harder than it already is!"

"Don't tell me what I would do if I cared about you!" Tom snapped, marching up to Tord, "You're the one leaving me to go 'find' something that you don't even know!"

Tord growled, anger replacing his sadness. Deep breaths. What would a good boyfriend do? Tord reached out to Tom about to comfort him.

"You said you fucking loved me!" Tom sobbed, pushing Tord back.

Tord stumbled a bit but since Tom was smaller than him, he couldn't easily knock him down.

" _Don't get angry. He's just hurt,_ " Tord told himself.

"You said you'd always be there for me," Tom whimpered.

"Tom, I-" Tord put a hand on his shoulders.

"Don't fucking touch me!" Tom snarled, slapping his hand off him.

Tom watched as Tord's expression saddened before swiftly filling with anger.

"I'm just trying to make you feel better you stupid bitch," Tord spat.

"Well, I don't need traitorous commie bastards who go out looking for 'I don't know's' in my life," Tom growled, "I hate you! I hate you so fucking much!"

"Well guess what. I don't care." Tord pushed Tom aside moving to his closet.

He pulled open the doors and retrieved the two suitcases that were in there. When he turned around he noticed that Tom was blocking the doorway.

"Move Thomas," Tord growled.

"Make me."

Tord sighed and Tom could only watch as Tord shoved him aside, knocking him onto his butt. Tom started at Tord as he wheeled his two stupid suitcases out the door. He should go and tell him goodbye and that he would be waiting for him to return. At least give him a hug, tell Tord he's sorry for what he said, and wish him the best of lick. He should probably beg him to stay, promise he'll be better, make him happy and other unachievable things. Instead, Tom headed for his room, feeling empty. He hated the hollow, lonely feeling. He flopped down on his bed and pulled out a flask. He needed a drink.


	4. Hello Old Friends

"Hello old friends," Tord grinned.

"Tord!" Edd beamed, hugging his old roommate.

"Tord?" Tom echoed, eyeing him suspiciously.

The two hadn't talked for the last three years, ever since Tord left. But seeing him pop back into his life without warning only infuriated Tom.

"What are you doing back here?" Tom demanded.

"I'm moving back in!" Tord explained.

"What?!" Tom shrieked.

"Tom, don't be so rude. I told you about last week," Edd said.

Tom clenched his jaw together growling under his breath.

"He needs to leave. Now. And stay the fuck away from me," Tom hissed stalking into the living room.

How dare they bring his ex back to live with them! It was like pouring salt into an open wound. Tom seethed looking around the living room. Right, he had traded away the couches. Still, it was so worth it.

"What happened to the couch?" Tord asked.

"Tom sold it to some pirates," Edd sighed.

"Classic, stupid, Tom," Tord laughed.

"Here catch," Tord tossed a cube to Tom.

It beeped a couple of times while Tom inspected it before exploding into a full-on couch. Tom yelped in surprise but was unable to get out from under it in time. He could hear Tord laughing at him only stoaking the burning anger in his chest. He squirmed his way out from under the couch, dusting himself off before storming off to his room.

* * *

 

He was trapped under a pile of rubble. He was suffocating! Tom panted, trying to push the concert off his back. His arm burned and he chocked back a sob. He could feel the blood running down his forearm and between his fingers.

"EDD! MATT!" Tom screamed, coughing as he inhaled a lungful of dust.

He was going to die here all alone, wasn't he? Tom felt around trying to pull anything loose. His hand landed on a familiar object. The harpoon gun. Tom gave it a yank feeling the block of concert shift above him.

" _Come on Tom. You've got this. Come on, you're not going to die here._ " Tom mentally cheered himself on.

Tom gave the gun another yank, pushing hard. He strained to get his legs underneath him and help push himself up. A bunch of light and color burst around him, overwhelming and bright. 

"Goodbye, old friend!" The voice of Tord boomed overhead.

And everything seemed to slow down. Tom looked at the harpoon gun in his hand, loaded and ready to fire. He pointed the tip of the harpoon at Tord's robot. Could he really do this to his boyfriend? No, he couldn't. But the man in the giant robot soaring overhead wasn't his boyfriend. This Tord was mean and enjoyed hurting Tom. He wasn't caring, tough but soft on the inside, or funny. Everything that Tom loved about him was gone. No, where ever Tord had been for the past three years had destroyed the man he loved. He had to shoot him down, otherwise, they might be looking at another world war. Don't think about it. Don't think about him. Don't think about what could have been.

Tom pulled the trigger.


	5. Goodbye My Love

He was dying. His head rolled to the side and he stared at the person lying next to him, their blood mixing together. His a dark purple, curtosey of his monster side, mixing with the scarlet red. His left hand clutched the hole in his chest right over his heart. Tom's vision flickered, his green pixelated eyes disappearing on the screen over his face. HIs chest heaved up and down trying to draw in more oxygen. It didn't matter, his heart wouldnt be able to pump it anywhere. At least he was going to die ending the war. He killed the Red Leader and without their dictator, the Green Resistance would be able to tear their army apart.

"Thomas?"

Tom looked over to see ~~Tord~~ Red Leader looking at him. He lay impaled to the ground. A repeat in memory, another giant robot, and another fired harpoon. This time, Tord had fallen on the blunt end of the spear, shattering through his rib cage. The spear tip had implanted itself into the ground. The end was also sticking right through Tord's heart. How coincidental.

"I'm sorry," Tord's voice cracked.

Tom swallowed hard, the dryness of his mouth burning his throat, "About what? Killing millions? Starting World War 3? Fucking killing me?" Tom spat.

"You're not dead yet," Tord protested, "But that's not the point. Everything. I'm sorry about everything."

Tord reached out and cradled Tom's hand in his. Tom didn't have the strength to pull away.

"You better fucking be. It's still too late," Tom closed his eyes and turned his face.

He didn't want this fucker to be the last thing he saw when he died. He was tired. Not the physically tired but mentally tired.

" _Keep thinking,_ " Tom told himself, " _Edd and Matt will find you soon_."

But he was so tired. He just wanted to sleep, sink into that comforting darkness where his thoughts wouldn't bother him anymore.

"Do you ever think about what could have been?" Tord asked.

"No," Tom said his voice dull.

" _Yes,_ " His heart disagreed.

"I'm so sorry," Tord was crying, "I just wanted to make the world a better place- Thomas?"

There was no answer.

"Tom?" Tord called out.

He looked over to see that Tom had removed the headset over his eyes. Those black eyes that he loved so much were staring at him, dull and unseeing. A couple of tears were slowly sliding down Tom's face before dropping into the sea of blood. Tord choaked back a sob.

"I love you."


End file.
